kaleidoscope 03 (survival)

Cling as she may to the comfort of sleep she could not stop herself from rousing. Sighing she moved her body to face skyward but rebelled agaisnt waking up by keeping her eyes shut. Only while asleep did Carol live out her dreams. When she slept, she saw herself whole again, her child, her home, the man she'd loved all her life, they were all there, together simultaniously. Her brows creased as her brain focused on one thing within the thought, the love of her life who'd abandonded her and in the act not only broke her heart beyond repair but took with him all hope of living a respectable life. A tear cascaded across her temple and into her hair. The was a shufle and a snore beside her, she smiled and turned -eyes open- to look at the center of her existance. The boy slept with his bum in the air and his knees tucked between the white sheets and his chest. His curls brown baby hair framed his face while his puckered lips wraped loosely around his thumb. There was a puddle of drool where his head lay against the bed. She smiled. Her little boy, he was only two and the absolute treasure of her life. James would never know his father, the thought hurt her deeply, but she vowed that her son would never need for anything. Looking past the sleeping bundle she noted the sun's glare through a slip in the curtains. They'd probably slept past ten and well into noon. She pulled the string just above her to ring for the maidservant and gently woke her son. It was saturday today which ment she'd be with Adam tonight. Adam was the man who'd bought her this home and kept her well providing her with all she desired in exchange for her favours. She'd hated it at first but now she'd come to accept what was. She knew nothing about him except his first name and his preferences in bed. She suspected he was married but it made no difference. After a hours of bathing in sweet scent, combing out her hair and all those other grooming rituals she lay on her own bed that was covered in expensive red silk sheets with only the fire burning in the fire place for light. He'd be here any minute, she looked down at herself and nodded once in approval. He would definetly love what she had on tonight, or rather what she did not. She pushed down the resentment she felt towards herself for doing this and blocked out all thoughts as Adam came waking through the door. Hours later as Adam dressed and left she rang for her bath. After scrumbing herself silly she slipped into her decent night clothes and went to sleep with her son in his room. This was her life now, she yawned and craddled the little boy closer and went into the land of dreams where the only man that touched her was the very same would abandoned her . . . tO bE cOntInUEd


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